1.15.2009
the clomid experiment
So, we have moved onto cycle #16, it doesn't seem like that long. And we decided to give clomid a try. So I'm on 100mg days 5-9 of my cycle. I'm on day 2 of taking it and so far so good.. I did get a migraine yesterday but I'm not sure if it's from the clomid. Either way, it's gone today which is nice. I was a little worried with all the drama I've heard and read about taking clomid and how I would react... You know Clomid crazies and hot flashes and the like. But I still have 3 days left, so things could change. I did do some research though and found that a lot of the side effects have to do with your emotions. So, I am in this experiment with a good attitude about it. Hopefully my egg will plump up nice and big and the sperm can find it a little easier.. Here's to hoping!!
1.02.2009
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
I haven't blogged in a while and i have to say, so this might be a long one.
December was a busy month for us. We went to Wisconsin to visit the family. It was nice and basically relaxing and fun. Lots and lots of snow. So much that one day we pulled out of the driveway and got stuck. hahahahaha it was fun. we dug our way out and then shoveled the street while my dad used the snow blower. Of course 30 minutes later the snow plows came through. oh well it was still fun and i supposed good exercise. Also, I fell down the stairs and have a nasty nasty sprained ankle. After almost 4 weeks it's still not back to being 100% I'd say I'm at 60%. It friggin hurts a lot. but I'm not limping so much anymore.. I can walk up stairs but down is still painful. I took the puppy for a walk yesterday, a short one, and I'm paying for it today.. ouch..
What else did we do? well there was Christmas. We didn't go anywhere or do anything special. Both of us don't have family around so we just hung out with my dh's mom and dad and had a quiet weekend. I of course got in a good 9 hours of Gilmore Girls. I got the whole series collection from J for Christmas, I'm admittedly obsessed, but i'm not having to watch it everyday like I used to.
We went to visit my dad and step mom also to share the love. I'm not a big fan of going to visit them. I mean not because of my dad, but other family members. I found out my uncles were giving him a hard time about not being a granpa yet and asked what was wrong with his girls that we can't have babies.. wow, that's a sensitive thing to say. My older sister is 34 and can barely hang on to a boyfriend for 5 minutes let alone long enough to get knocked up. And J and I are trying, trust me. But who actually says things like that! So that made me a little disappointed. Not because poor me i can't seem to have a baby, but i feel bad for my dad that his brothers are like teasing him about something like that. OK maybe it makes me feel like a failure a little bit that I'm causing disappointment because my woman bits cant' give my parents grandchildren.
Also, while I was down there I made the stop at Gramma's house. My aunt and her gave me a little "pep talk" about how it's OK I'm struggling with getting pregnant. My Gramma told me how she has a tilted uterus and so the dr's told her she'd have a hard time getting pregnant. After 5 pregnancies she had to ask him when it was gonna start getting hard! Gosh Gramma that cheered me right up! My aunt, who also has a tilted uterus, went on to tell me that she had to have 1 and 1/2 tubs removed. She was told that if she could get pregnant it would be a long hard road and would take a lot of patience and time. But she was pregnant the next month! WOW! well thanks Aunt Pat. I feel so much better now about trying for 15 months and getting no where. You just pepped me right up!
Also heard it from one of my dad and step moms friends. Yep she chimed in on the subject at dinner. Hers was the usual, don't worry it'll happen when you least expect it, and just stop trying, and be patient and all the other blah blah stuff. We already know to be patient, but thanks for your .02 cents.
Mean while, this is how much my family down that way really thinks of me. They live about 2 hours away. not too far but I'm going there all the time for drop in visits. My cousin got married in January of 2007. At our wedding we talked with them about when they're gonna start ttc. They said not for a couple years, they want to wait. Well guess what?! They got pregnant in Feb 2008. Things happen, I'm not mad about that. I didn't get invited to the baby shower. I got to hear all about while we were visiting and saw a picture of the little babe, but no invite. oh well i guess maybe they thought i wouldn't come or whatever. SO then while I was leaving Grammas house. I give her a hug and a kiss and say "I love you gramma!" and her response back?? "Thanks darlin." Now I've known for a very very long time, i am not this gramma's favorite. I'm at the bottom of the list right above me half brother who is probably in prison now and started a lot of family crap. yep I rank just a smidge above him, I think. I could be wrong, I might be below him. But at least lie to me and tell me you love me!!
So hopefully, 2009 is an awesome year with happy memories and filled with lots of good things. I'm gonna work more on getting healthy and being more happy, being a better friend and work on my relationships. I have neglected some family relationships and i think it's about time i start working on those more.
December was a busy month for us. We went to Wisconsin to visit the family. It was nice and basically relaxing and fun. Lots and lots of snow. So much that one day we pulled out of the driveway and got stuck. hahahahaha it was fun. we dug our way out and then shoveled the street while my dad used the snow blower. Of course 30 minutes later the snow plows came through. oh well it was still fun and i supposed good exercise. Also, I fell down the stairs and have a nasty nasty sprained ankle. After almost 4 weeks it's still not back to being 100% I'd say I'm at 60%. It friggin hurts a lot. but I'm not limping so much anymore.. I can walk up stairs but down is still painful. I took the puppy for a walk yesterday, a short one, and I'm paying for it today.. ouch..
What else did we do? well there was Christmas. We didn't go anywhere or do anything special. Both of us don't have family around so we just hung out with my dh's mom and dad and had a quiet weekend. I of course got in a good 9 hours of Gilmore Girls. I got the whole series collection from J for Christmas, I'm admittedly obsessed, but i'm not having to watch it everyday like I used to.
We went to visit my dad and step mom also to share the love. I'm not a big fan of going to visit them. I mean not because of my dad, but other family members. I found out my uncles were giving him a hard time about not being a granpa yet and asked what was wrong with his girls that we can't have babies.. wow, that's a sensitive thing to say. My older sister is 34 and can barely hang on to a boyfriend for 5 minutes let alone long enough to get knocked up. And J and I are trying, trust me. But who actually says things like that! So that made me a little disappointed. Not because poor me i can't seem to have a baby, but i feel bad for my dad that his brothers are like teasing him about something like that. OK maybe it makes me feel like a failure a little bit that I'm causing disappointment because my woman bits cant' give my parents grandchildren.
Also, while I was down there I made the stop at Gramma's house. My aunt and her gave me a little "pep talk" about how it's OK I'm struggling with getting pregnant. My Gramma told me how she has a tilted uterus and so the dr's told her she'd have a hard time getting pregnant. After 5 pregnancies she had to ask him when it was gonna start getting hard! Gosh Gramma that cheered me right up! My aunt, who also has a tilted uterus, went on to tell me that she had to have 1 and 1/2 tubs removed. She was told that if she could get pregnant it would be a long hard road and would take a lot of patience and time. But she was pregnant the next month! WOW! well thanks Aunt Pat. I feel so much better now about trying for 15 months and getting no where. You just pepped me right up!
Also heard it from one of my dad and step moms friends. Yep she chimed in on the subject at dinner. Hers was the usual, don't worry it'll happen when you least expect it, and just stop trying, and be patient and all the other blah blah stuff. We already know to be patient, but thanks for your .02 cents.
Mean while, this is how much my family down that way really thinks of me. They live about 2 hours away. not too far but I'm going there all the time for drop in visits. My cousin got married in January of 2007. At our wedding we talked with them about when they're gonna start ttc. They said not for a couple years, they want to wait. Well guess what?! They got pregnant in Feb 2008. Things happen, I'm not mad about that. I didn't get invited to the baby shower. I got to hear all about while we were visiting and saw a picture of the little babe, but no invite. oh well i guess maybe they thought i wouldn't come or whatever. SO then while I was leaving Grammas house. I give her a hug and a kiss and say "I love you gramma!" and her response back?? "Thanks darlin." Now I've known for a very very long time, i am not this gramma's favorite. I'm at the bottom of the list right above me half brother who is probably in prison now and started a lot of family crap. yep I rank just a smidge above him, I think. I could be wrong, I might be below him. But at least lie to me and tell me you love me!!
So hopefully, 2009 is an awesome year with happy memories and filled with lots of good things. I'm gonna work more on getting healthy and being more happy, being a better friend and work on my relationships. I have neglected some family relationships and i think it's about time i start working on those more.
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