hello?? Flow?? are you there??

So, i have been under my coverline for 2 days now and I'm still waiting for AF to show up.. I really have no indications that she's coming other then the extremely low temps. And I tested yesterday, which seemed really silly to me, but J and I had dentist appts yesterday and we knew there would be xrays, so he wanted to make sure.. it was neg, obviously... So today i'm just running to the bathroom every hour to see if my visitor has decided to bless me with her presence. It's rather annoying when you know it's coming and she's just taking her sweet as time coming. We have decided to take a break on the ttc front.. After 16 cycles of actively trying we just want to get back to sweet lovin that isn't timed or all about making a baby. This last cycle really drained us. The clomid by the way apparently worked nicely. My Dr called with my progesterone levels, that i had drawn at 4dpo, and they were at 40. My number not on clomid was 15, which is normal I guess. Anyway, since i took the clomid we wanted to make sure this cycle we gave it our best shot and not be lazy with things. We are like that most of time, not giving 100% to the baby making timing. Now normally I'm not one to complain about too much sex.. I think I've never complained actually, I like having lots of sex. But 6 days in a row of "We have to have sex" sex, was too much.. I have to give it up to J though, he was a trooper and did his job and didn't complain. But I'd like to not go through that again.. I want to just have fun sex for a while. So that's what we're going to try to get back to. Plus I'm taking 2 classes this semester at school and with working full time, it's sort of draining me.. And I'm trying to lose weight and get into better shape, so i have other things to focus on other then making a baby.

I'm going to start researching R.E.'s and call out insurance and talk to them about what all is covered and what isn't. Then we'll save up money while on our break and when we decide to I'll call and make an appt. Then we'll go from there.
It's weird for me to think I would ever be at this point. Needing assistance and tests to get pg. I wish i could be like all the other girls in my family and get knocked up just by looking at a boy. However that seems to have passed me. I'm ok with going, I see no shame in needing help. And it really doesn't seem like we've been trying to that long. But i don't want it to get to the point where it has been too long and we haven't tried to find out what's wrong and done something about it. J is ok with it too, he obviously wishes it was easier but i think we came to a point a long time where we knew it wasn't going to be easy. It's weird to think there's something wrong when all initial tests came back normal and we were told to just keep trying. I know however that that's just the tip of the ice burg and there are many other tests to be done..


It funny to see how J is reacting to all of this also. I mean I'm not a super barren Betty but I definitely have my moments of it. And I laugh a little whenever I see J get like that too. We had to run to Target for some stuff yesterday before our dentist appt. and I kid you not i think there were about 6 very pregnant ladies that we saw in our short probably not even 10 mins we were there. And that's not counting the numerous ladies with brand new babies... As we walked out the door and past 2 friends that seemed to be equally pregnant with a couple other little ones with them J let out a faint sort of grunt. All i could say was really?? and we both started laughing..
There is obviously something in the water here that is not attaching to us.. Oh well.. we'll get through it and know that when we are blessed with a beautiful little one that we worked for them, and they weren't just an oops surprise.